DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a bosom buddy who loves to cook. Unfortunately, every time I eat her cooking, I suffer enormous intestinal distress.
For some time now, I have avoided eating at her house by scheduling my visits with her at times when I can reasonably say I have already eaten, but now she invites me over saying, “Come hungry.”
I couldn’t think of any way out of a recent invitation, so I accepted and had a meal with her. Inevitably, I got sick. What would have been the polite way to avoid eating at her house? She rarely goes to restaurants, and especially not now.
GENTLE READER: Etiquette exists to avoid confessions like, “I value our friendship, but your food makes me throw up.”
This should be relatively simple: You express disappointment that you are — for no specified reason — unavailable; your buddy accepts this answer gracefully.
Miss Manners: Should I RSVP to the hostess’s parents to make a point?
Miss Manners: If you’re upset about the white shoe rule, wait until you hear the wristwatch rule
Miss Manners: She gave us diapers to use as napkins. What could I have said?
Miss Manners: She felt horrible about her joke when I told her my husband had died
Miss Manners: I found out I’m not invited to their rescheduled wedding
Miss Manners realizes that, in reality, your other friends are urging you to be honest, while your would-be host will not stop asking what you will be doing at that time. When everyone sees staying the course as a virtue, without regard to oncoming traffic, collisions are unavoidable.
You have two good options: Get used to hearing yourself say how sorry you are that you cannot attend — or find something among the food provided that you can eat.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When and how is it polite to tell a casual contact that there is a glaring typo on their business card, website or other promotional materials?
Here are just a few examples I have seen: “Family RESOURSE Center” on a business card from a mass-networking event; “We Provide EXPEREINCED help” on a proudly displayed banner in a temp placement office; “Estimated Texas Population in 2040 — 50 BILLION” on a PowerPoint presentation.
I figure people might want to know so they can correct it, but I don’t want to sound pushy or arrogant. Also, some of these are people who might hire me, so there’s the added question of, “Will this be a positive indicator of how conscientious I am, or a negative indicator of …read more
Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle