DEAR MISS MANNERS: A dear friend of mine recently became engaged after 12 years of dating. This is a second wedding for both parties, and both are well over 50 years old and established.
The groom has been unemployed for years, and the bride-to-be makes close to six figures. Regardless of their financial situation, neither could afford to have a large wedding, so they started planning a small, intimate event.
Flash-forward a few weeks. Suddenly, 70 invitations go out in the mail, people are being asked to provide tables, tablecloths, food, labor, decorations, flowers from their gardens, music, photography, transportation for her mother … you get the picture. The last straw was when a call came to “man a table at the wedding to replenish supplies and keep the punch bowl full.”
Miss Manners, the guests of this wedding love and adore the bride and wish her nothing but the best, but how do we tell her that enough is enough?
Miss Manners: People don’t like it when I bark ‘Leave me alone’
Miss Manners: I’m hurt that she thinks more of her car than of our family
Miss Manners: She hogs the egg-dyeing station and insults any kid who objects
Miss Manners: Waiters make hurtful comments to me
Miss Manners: Our wedding guests keep asking. What do we tell them?
In addition to throwing her a shower, assisting in throwing the wedding, and providing the setup and cleanup, we are expected to bring her gifts. I love this woman but am sick of feeling used and abused.
I’m tired of feeling guilty for saying no, and don’t want to offend her, but I’m at a loss and feeling very resentful.
GENTLE READER: Your friend is running an event-planning operation — with no pay for her workers. As she is a good friend, Miss Manners suggests that you take her aside and tell her that her guests will be more at ease enjoying less-expensive fare than being asked to provide it. And then point her in the direction of the nearest dollar store and task-assistance app.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I were hosting a small dinner party that included his 91-year-old father, whom we spend every day with, as well as a handful of other guests.
There were two separate conversations being held at the table when my husband openly shushed a guest and me, because he wanted to hear his dad’s conversation better. Our guest and I were caught off guard, but then politely stopped talking. Of course, she was never able to finish her story after that.
After our guests left, I told my husband that he was …read more
Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle