DEAR ABBY: My husband of 49 years is fighting me left and right about finding someone to help around our house.
Jeanne Phillips
He is stubborn. He has tunnel vision and a one-track mind, and he doesn’t want anyone to assist him in anything. If I hire someone, he always has a negative comment about that person’s workmanship.
He’s retired after working 44 years and thinks life will wait for him to complete any task, even if it takes another 49 years. I need help with his “I can handle it” attitude while everything stays on hold until he can get to it.
NEEDS IT YESTERDAY IN MICHIGAN
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DEAR NEEDS IT: Give your husband a deadline to either finish a project or hire it done, making clear that if he doesn’t do it, you will see it gets done. Then batten down the hatches and be prepared for him not to take the message gracefully.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a mom of three young adults, a daughter and two sons. The oldest recently married. My youngest is finishing his last two years of college out of state. Three months ago, he met a young lady.
I have tried constantly to be close with all my children, but the youngest has always kept me at bay. He expresses how different we are.
Now that he has met this young lady, I think he’s trying to push me further away and continue on with her and her mom. It makes me sad because no matter how hard I try to be a good mother and be present, it doesn’t work. What do you suggest?
SAD MOM IN MISSISSIPPI
DEAR MOM: Your son is pursuing not only this young lady, but also his independence, which is normal for someone his age, and he may need to separate from you for a while. Back off for now and allow him some space.
Whether this college romance will pan out is anyone’s guess, so calm down. If possible, concentrate on things other than your empty nest. However, if you are unable to do that, ask your physician or your insurance company to refer you to a licensed psychotherapist to help you get through this.
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