Dear Abby: Is it normal how my kids treat me?

DEAR ABBY: I am a 72-year-old divorcee. I live alone in a 55-and-older community where I have many friends and an active life.

Jeanne Phillips 

My three adult children are ages 37 to 43. The eldest lives out of the country with my 12-year-old grandson. My other son and his wife live 2,000 miles away and have two young children, one of whom I saw once, three years ago. My daughter lives with her husband an hour and a half away. I see them about twice a year.

My daughter will sometimes answer an email or text, sometimes not. My sons almost never contact me, not even on my birthday or Mother’s Day. From what I understand, they have little communication with their father or each other, either.

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Is this normal? It breaks my heart. This isn’t how I raised them. I always encouraged them to maintain a relationship with their father and their grandmother. Is there anything I can do?

SO SAD IN THE EAST

DEAR SO SAD: I’m sorry for your heartache, and there is something you can do. Concentrate on your friends, people who are willing to return your emotional investment.

You should also ignore Mother’s Day, which is an emotionally loaded holiday that causes pain not only to mothers like you, but also to those who have recently lost their mothers. I think you have suffered enough, don’t you?

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law has never liked to shop from a gift list. She prefers to look on her own for a gift she thinks the person would like. My problem is, most of the things she buys are atrocious.

My husband and I are expecting our first child — her first grandchild — and although we sent her the link, she has already purchased items not on our registry.

I am gracious, Abby. I thank her verbally and follow up with a note in the mail. However, we don’t have enough room for all the items to use just when she visits, so I plan to quietly return or donate them.

When she’s here and asks why we’re not using her gifts, what do I say? I’d …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Latest News